If you’re in sales, there’s a good chance you’ve been ghosted.
It’s one of those things that happens to everyone at some point. You have a prospect who seems interested, maybe even excited. They ask for more info, and you send it over. Then… nothing. Silence. It’s like they’ve disappeared off the face of the earth.
Frustrating, right?
When that happens, most of us instinctively feel a little annoyed or even hurt. We start thinking we deserve a response—any response. Even a "No thanks" would feel better than being left hanging.
But let me tell you something: being ghosted? It’s not personal.
The Reality of Being Ghosted
I’ll be honest—I hate the word “ghosted.” It makes it sound like someone is intentionally avoiding you, like they’re doing it just to mess with you. But that’s not what’s happening at all.
Here’s the truth: people are just busy. They’re overwhelmed with emails, meetings, and a million other things that need their attention. Sometimes they lose interest. Or maybe they don’t want to engage because they’re worried about getting stuck in a conversation they’re not ready for.
It’s not about you.
When a prospect goes quiet, it’s easy to take it personally. Your ego gets a little bruised, and you start thinking, "Why didn’t they just say something?" But the sooner you realize it’s not an attack on you, the easier sales will become.
The Wrong Way to Follow Up
When you feel ghosted, the first instinct is to start chasing after a response. That’s what most people do. They follow up with messages that scream, "Please respond to me!" Here are some common ones you might’ve seen (or sent):
- “Hey, just following up on my previous message.”
- “Wanted to check in and see if you had a chance to review my email.”
- “Circling back to see if you had any feedback.”
- “Bumping this to the top of your inbox in case you missed it.”
Sound familiar?
The problem with these kinds of messages is that they come across as needy. Nobody likes a needy salesperson. What you’re really saying is, "Please give me validation. Please acknowledge me." That’s not how you close deals.
Keep It Short, Simple, and Direct
Here’s the approach that works for me: instead of sending another “just checking in” email, I send a direct, one-sentence message. Nothing fancy, just something that cuts right to the point.
Here are a few examples of what I might say:
- “Have you decided to pass on the proposal?”
- “Have you deferred the project for now?”
- “Have you gone in a different direction for the solution?”
That’s it. No fluff, no pressure. Just a simple question.
Why does this work? Because it’s straightforward and gives them an easy way out. They don’t feel pressured to explain themselves, and you’re not coming across as desperate for a response. If they don’t reply, that’s okay.
In fact, if they don’t get back to you after that, consider it a win. It’s a sign that you can move on and focus your energy elsewhere.
Detach From the Outcome
Here’s where a lot of salespeople get stuck: they’re too attached to the outcome. They want every conversation to lead to a yes. They want every prospect to become a paying customer. But that’s just not how it works.
The truth is, not every prospect is going to buy. And that’s fine. You’ve got to let go of the idea that every lead owes you a response or a decision.
Once you detach from the outcome, it becomes a lot easier to handle ghosting. You’re not hanging your hopes on one prospect’s response. Instead, you’re focusing on the bigger picture—finding the people who are ready to buy and helping them.
What’s the TOM Sequence?
Even though I detach from the outcome, I don’t completely forget about those silent prospects. I add them to what I call my Top of Mind (TOM) sequence.
What’s a TOM sequence? It’s a way to stay on a prospect’s radar without being pushy.
You see, just because they’re not responding now doesn’t mean they’ll never buy. Maybe they’re just not ready yet. Maybe their budget didn’t get approved this quarter, or they’re swamped with other priorities. The timing might be off, but that doesn’t mean you should write them off completely.
The TOM sequence is all about the long game. I’ll send out the occasional newsletter, post useful content on LinkedIn, or share an article that’s relevant to their industry. I keep myself top of mind, so when they are ready to buy, they know where to find me.
You’re actually in my TOM sequence right now. You came across this post, didn’t you? That’s how the TOM sequence works. I didn’t have to chase you down—you came back to me when you were ready.
The Key to Sales Success
Sales is a tough gig, especially when you’re in the SaaS or software space. The buying cycle can be long, and the competition is intense. It’s easy to feel like every lost lead is a missed opportunity.
But the hard truth is, not everyone’s going to buy from you. Not every conversation is going to lead to a closed deal. Some people are going to disappear without a trace.
And that’s okay.
What separates good salespeople from great salespeople is the ability to let go. The great ones don’t take ghosting personally. They don’t get stuck in a cycle of frustration and neediness. Instead, they send a simple follow-up and move on to the next opportunity.
When you stop taking ghosting personally, you free up more time and mental energy to focus on the prospects who are ready to move forward.
Embrace the Process
In sales, ghosting is just part of the process. It happens to everyone, and it’s nothing to get worked up about. Instead of chasing after non-responsive leads, shift your mindset.
Send a quick, direct email, and if they don’t respond, move on. Add them to your TOM sequence, and let them come back to you when they’re ready.
The more you let go of needing a response, the easier—and more enjoyable—sales will become.
It’s all about embracing the process and not getting caught up in the outcome. And when you do that, you’ll find that your results actually start to improve.
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